There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
