It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
