did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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