So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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