Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
