I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I could fuck to npr.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
