Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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