i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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