Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
