pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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