so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
