I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
