I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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