So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize