respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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