I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
