Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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