I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
