She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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