So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
