She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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