i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
