I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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