went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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