I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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