you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
