I bet he comes in French.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
