My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
