i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
