some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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