Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize