the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
