She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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