no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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