I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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