and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
