I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
