the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize