also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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