hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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