they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
