I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
