I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
