More tranny stories later!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
