More tranny stories later!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
