It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
