I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
