Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
