my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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