He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
