I wannas sexs uuuuu
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
