he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize