why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
