Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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