hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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