Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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