so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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