The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
