a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
