He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
