Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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(850): View more from Florida

how was your day?

(404): View more from Georgia

fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .

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(626): View more from California

We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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(915): View more from Texas

Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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(540): View more from Virginia

the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions

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(816): View more from Missouri

All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.

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