There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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