he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you made out with another girl for some wings
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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