You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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