After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
