people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Randomize
