what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize