I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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